Kingdoms? No! But perhaps a tree…

O God, you are my god. Earnestly I seek you, as a man stumbling in a dry and weary land. My souls longs for you, and my spirit cries out in anguish because You are far. Even when you are near, O Lord, indeed though you are in me – o God still I yearn to see you face to face.

God, I feel like a child. I feel frail and weak. I feel common and afraid. I feel helpless and confused. It is as if a child is sent into the desert to build not a sandcastle, but a towering fortress, with outlying town, and protective walls surrounding. Oh God, I want to see your kingdom built! Oh Lord, I want to see your name exalted, but I am so weak! I am not equal to the task, Lord! Who has ever been equal to the task?

 
I – the child wandering in the desert – cannot even begin to fathom what is needed for a single stone to be cut for a single corner of one foundation in your kingdom, but oh God – I can plant a flower. I can drop a handful of pebbles into the mason’s bucket. I can bring a cup of water to those who are able to lift. Father, have mercy on a small child like me. Use what little strength I have, and God help me to remember my place – it is not with the giants who heave mountains of stone upon their backs, nor is it with the skilled stone artists who polish and perfect each stone laid. Lord, help me to remember that I am simple.

 

God, help me plant flowers, give comfort to the weary heavy-lifters, and perhaps Lord – perhaps let me plant a tree one day that might grow into beauty and shade-giving usefulness.

 
Oh God, help me. Be glorified in my weakness.

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