God of grace, you are the King eternal, immortal, invisible. You alone are wise.

O Lord…You, in your unsearchable wisdom, have called the people of this church. Out of your own creative intent, you have made us born again, by your own eternal election and your own daily preservation. You have placed us here for a specific purpose unto the glorification of your name. Jesus, glorify your name among this people! Out of your abundance, satisfy this poor shepherd and the flock with whom you have placed him.

Dear Father, we are so desperately in need of your grace in every moment, and yet we fail to recognize our need, to our own woe. And, being dependent upon you for each breath in each moment, how much more desperate and utterly helpless are we in the moments and hours in which pivotal, eternal impact is made? O God, we are bones and dust! We have no more ability to affect eternity than we do to overthrow your throne itself. We might sooner singlehandedly throw the earth into the sun. O God, help us! Make us like-minded! Put your Word in our hearts and protect us from Evil’s attempt to divide and devour. Send the Spirit to accomplish your eternal will through us.

O Lord Jesus, you are the King eternal. Work in us so that your kingdom might be expanded, that many would come to know you, and that your name would be glorified among all the peoples of the earth. Blessed be your Name, o God!

From August 25 and September 2, 2011.

I love the church where God has placed me. My precious flock have told me more than once that I am a blessing to them, but they do not know what an extraordinary blessing they have been to me. I love them deeply, and care for their hurts, and mourn when they mourn, and rejoice when they rejoice. They are my people.

But I am overcome in this moment with a broken-hearted love for the nations, and with a love for the gospel, and with a desire to bring the gospel to those in dark nations. Visions of children who will grow old without ever hearing about Jesus crush my heart. Thoughts of men and women created in the image of God who live every moment in danger of an eternity separated from God – because they do not know the Savior who I know – these thoughts anguish my soul.

I am weeping.

Oh God, send workers into the harvest! Lord Jesus, send your people into the fields! Send your Spirit among those who are saved and break their hearts with joy in Christ, and break their hearts with sadness for those who do not know Him. Jesus, satisfy the hearts of your people – satisfy them so completely that they would be willing to leave all other things behind in order to go to the harvest fields. Lord Jesus, fill your people so fully that they would JOYFULLY forsake homes, businesses, family, familiarity, finances, and anything else in order to follow you to the glorious task of harvesting souls. Father, send out the fishers of men; send out the hunters of souls. Strengthen your people in order that they might go to dark places and find those who are not yet your people.

And Jesus, I know that you have placed me here. Father, I rejoice in the glorious task which you have given me here in this place. I know that, in this moment and until you release me, my calling is here with this people in this place…but oh God, send me! Lord, if there are no others, send me! Great God of Heaven – here am I, send me! Gladly will I give up the comforts you have blessed me with. Gladly will I go. And gladly do I stay, Father. Oh God, I am in your hands to dispose of as you will. Use me as you see fit. Send me where you desire, and let the gospel always be on my lips! Blessed be your name, o Lord.

“Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness, and when he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.’” Matthew 9:35-38

O God, you are my god. Earnestly I seek you, as a man stumbling in a dry and weary land. My souls longs for you, and my spirit cries out in anguish because You are far. Even when you are near, O Lord, indeed though you are in me – o God still I yearn to see you face to face.

God, I feel like a child. I feel frail and weak. I feel common and afraid. I feel helpless and confused. It is as if a child is sent into the desert to build not a sandcastle, but a towering fortress, with outlying town, and protective walls surrounding. Oh God, I want to see your kingdom built! Oh Lord, I want to see your name exalted, but I am so weak! I am not equal to the task, Lord! Who has ever been equal to the task?

 
I – the child wandering in the desert – cannot even begin to fathom what is needed for a single stone to be cut for a single corner of one foundation in your kingdom, but oh God – I can plant a flower. I can drop a handful of pebbles into the mason’s bucket. I can bring a cup of water to those who are able to lift. Father, have mercy on a small child like me. Use what little strength I have, and God help me to remember my place – it is not with the giants who heave mountains of stone upon their backs, nor is it with the skilled stone artists who polish and perfect each stone laid. Lord, help me to remember that I am simple.

 

God, help me plant flowers, give comfort to the weary heavy-lifters, and perhaps Lord – perhaps let me plant a tree one day that might grow into beauty and shade-giving usefulness.

 
Oh God, help me. Be glorified in my weakness.

From June 28, 2005

Father, today is a day that I cannot live without you, as is every other day. I ask you to walk with me, in hopes that you will be seen through me. I ask that you walk for me, in hopes that my footsteps will be directed where you would have me go. 

Father, in full understanding that I am inescapably incapable of doing anything without your grace and provision, I leave today in your holy and omnipotent hands. 

From Wednesday, Oct. 20, 2010

Lord, you have been kind to me. When I wake up, when I lie down, your kindness remains. When I sing your praise and when I turn my face to the world, in both moments you love me completely. Oh Father, THANK YOU for Jesus! I would be death if not for the heaven-sent Immanuel! Oh grace that is greater than all my sin – Lord send it down to me again. Cleanse me by your faithfulness, and renew the steadfast pursuit of holiness within me. Renew and strengthen the broken bones, and let me yearn fully after you. Oh Lord, you are my Rock and my Deliverer. Your strength sustains my utter weakness. So now, gracious Creator, look with love on your servant whom you have called and be near to me. Glorify your name in me. Dash me to pieces on your name, only let the world see more of you through it.

Blessed be the name of the Most Holy God.